Welcome to Bedrock, the most modern Stone Age city! I'm your guide, Rocky Roads, and I'll be taking you on a journey through our prehistoric paradise.
As we start our tour, on your left you'll see the famous Slate Rock and Gravel Company, where our very own Fred Flintstone works as a bronto-crane operator. Founded in 10,000 B.C., this quarry has been the backbone of Bedrock's economy for millennia. Fun fact: Mr. Slate, the owner, once considered replacing all his workers with dinosaurs, but changed his mind after a disastrous trial run involving Fred and his pet dinosaur Dino.
Coming up on your right is the Bedrock Bowl-a-Rama, a favorite hangout for Fred and his best pal Barney Rubble. Opened just five years ago, it's already hosted three Caveman Bowling Championships. Legend has it that Fred once bowled a perfect game here using a round boulder and woolly mammoth pins!
Now, we're approaching downtown Bedrock. That large building with the stone columns is our City Hall, constructed entirely from locally-sourced boulders. It's said that Mayor Rockhead's great-great-grandfather rolled every stone into place himself!
Oh, look there! It's the famous Polarock Camera Shop. Did you know the first cave painting selfie was taken here? It's true! It took three days to chisel out, but it started a city-wide trend.
As we turn onto Mastodon Avenue, you'll see the Bedrock Drive-In Theater. This is where Fred and Wilma had their first date, watching 'From Here to Eternity in Stone.' The theater uses a giant pterodactyl to project movies onto the cliff face – talk about surround sound!
And finally, we're arriving at 301 Cobblestone Lane, home of the Flintstones themselves. Notice the unique foot-powered car in the driveway – that's Fred's pride and joy. The lawn is maintained by a mastodon's trunk, which Fred 'borrowed' from the Bedrock Zoo last year and forgot to return.
That concludes our tour of Bedrock. We hope you've enjoyed this glimpse into Stone Age life. Remember, in Bedrock, we make history every day – literally!